At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
