I need help removing her.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
