I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
