the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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