He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
