I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
