ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
