Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
