speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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