Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
