Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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