Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
