Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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