im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
