She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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