i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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