that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
