I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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