If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize