Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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