Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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