I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
