you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
