Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize