help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
