Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
