Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You can't just leave with hair like that
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
