he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We were destined to go to rehab together
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
