About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
