Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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