Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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