That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
