she was so not down for the gang bang
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
