the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
