some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
