I met the friendliest cop last night
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
