i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
