I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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