We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
