So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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