fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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