As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize