well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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