took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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