Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my being single is dangerous.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Drunk is a universal language darling
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