Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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