if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
