It was confusing and full of hummus
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
