And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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