On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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