I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
