just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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