I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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