We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize