The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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