I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
