So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
