she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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