its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
