on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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