Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
