she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize