Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
