Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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