I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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