You're so nebulous sometimes
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
did i walk over a car last night?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
