We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
worst night to have a conscience
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
