Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Let's paint friendship bongs
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
